A Film-Noir Explanation As To Why I Haven't Written Anything In the Blog

TAKEN FROM THE DETECTIVE'S NOTEBOOK OF NICHOLAS ERIC WALKER

     I woke up from another fruitless nap.  Sleep had not been kind of late.  In fact, life itself had served me up one mean left hook after another.  I was hot, sweat dripped from my brow as I pulled myself out of my bed.  What time was it?  3:00, 4:00?  Did it even matter?  I made my way to the sink and splashed some tap water on my face.  The cold shock brought me back to reality.  I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing a slender reflection that definitely needed some shaving cream and a razor.

     I pulled open the blinds as I made my way into the front room.  The Riviera definitely isn't the Ritz, but it's a place to call home and lay down my pillow.  I looked outside at the thick steam rising from the streets sidewalks and streets, and stopped to wonder why thick fog was rising from the streets of Provo, UT.  That's when I realized that my life had turned into a 1930s detective movie, and I started to reflect.

PICTURED: NOT PROVO, UTAH

   

Cheetah Hunting

This is a little bit of a departure from what I normally write here. You won't find any lists or witty pop culture references. This is just a short story that I wrote, and ended up feeling pretty good about. It's about a highly fictionalized version of myself doing battle with a completely realistic cheetah. Hope you enjoy!

5 Hated Movies That Weren't As Bad As People Say

     Wow.  It's been a long time.  Returning to college life and being caught up in that has turned me into a lazy writer.  When Zach "The Model of Inconsistency" Walker posted earlier this week, that really woke me up.  If he can I can!  So rather than continue to ramble, I'll get right to it.
     Movies.  I love them.  You love them.  Even your grumpy old neighbor across the street loves him some old John Wayne movies.  Some are bad, some are good, but there are some that just seem to get picked on an awful lot.  Now granted, many deserve criticism, but others I feel are unjustly slammed.  This is my list of movies that are generally hated by the public that I enjoyed.  I will defend the undefendable, give voice to these poor films that can't speak for themselves, and enrage many of you haters that just love to hate.  These movies are by no means perfect (actually not even close) but don't deserve to be the hate magnets they've become.  (Copy-cat disclaimer: This was not my idea, I saw it on another website and ever since then many others have also done it.  Sometimes I just can't think of good ideas okay.)

5. The Star Wars Prequels

Fight A Shark: The Rebuttal

Friends, Romans, and Countrymen. Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song. And unlike some YouTube sensations, I won't sing out of key. You too can get by with a little help from me, your friend, if you heed my words. You may have heard about the raging debate going on the past few weeks. The question was whether or not it is better or not to fight a shark or a crocodile. Hopefully your first instinct is, "No question, keep the shark away from me and bring on the crocodile." Some of you, such as a certain Austin Crezee may think it over and reason with yourself that you'd rather fight a crocodile than a shark. There's even some of you who may think, "You know what, sharks are big wussies. I can take one." To both those camps, I tell you that you are wrong. Let me explain why.

Why I'd Fight a Shark- By Austin Crezee

     Greetings loyal readers!  The results of our poll are officiallly in, and it looks like most people would want to fight the crocodile.  In fact, I was shocked at all that someone even voted for the fight with the great white (rhyme; unintentional).  I thought about writing an open letter to said individual asking them to explain their position, but then I found out it was none other than Austin Crezee, recently returned from his mission to the glorious South.  He has agreed to explain why he would rather fight a great white shark, as opposed to a Nile crocodile.  So this week you barely have to hear from me at all!  Hooray for you!  Feel free to weigh in on who you would take in the comments!

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     Upon returning home from my mission I ran across a blog on the internet debating about the dangers of the Great White Shark and the Nile Crocodile. I leaned back in my chair and pondered the question, “Would you rather fight off a great white shark in the ocean, or take your chances with a Nile crocodile in the Nile?” I felt that the answer was an obvious one so I check the shark option and called it a day. It was not until a couple days later when I spoke to Mr. Cole Walker and he expressed surprise at my choice of the shark and asked me to explain my thought process. I guess you could say that is why I am here at this moment, to denounce sharks and exalt the all crocodiles of this world, not just the Nile.

     I have decided to break my argument down into three points for you guys to ponder, so here we go…

5 Beatles Songs You Can Try (In Vain) To Find Meaning To

     Ladies and gentlemen, this month is a very important anniversary month.  It was 50 years ago today, that Ringo joined the band to stay.  Okay, it wasn't exactly today, but this is the month where things all got started back in 1962 for the greatest rock and roll band of all time, The Beatles.  John, Paul, and George were already together, but drumming with a fellow named Pete Best.  Long story short, they decided that Pete wasn't cutting it, and fired him to pursue THE GREATEST drummer in Liverpool at that time, Richard Starkey, AKA Ringo Starr.  Ringo joined the band, and a short time later things really took off.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Glorious, often times strange, history.

SSSSSHHHHAAAAARRRRRKKKK!!!!!!

     Well, Blogsday is going swimmingly, so lets cap things off with a quick post on why this week is one of my favorites of the year.  I am of course, referring to Shark Week.
     So here's three quick points about why I love Shark Week, and why you should too.

Yikes.