5 Beatles Songs You Can Try (In Vain) To Find Meaning To

     Ladies and gentlemen, this month is a very important anniversary month.  It was 50 years ago today, that Ringo joined the band to stay.  Okay, it wasn't exactly today, but this is the month where things all got started back in 1962 for the greatest rock and roll band of all time, The Beatles.  John, Paul, and George were already together, but drumming with a fellow named Pete Best.  Long story short, they decided that Pete wasn't cutting it, and fired him to pursue THE GREATEST drummer in Liverpool at that time, Richard Starkey, AKA Ringo Starr.  Ringo joined the band, and a short time later things really took off.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Glorious, often times strange, history.

     I love the Beatles.  No point in beating around the bush.  They've had more influence on my life, collectively and individually, than any other musicians.  But I'm guessing that if you're reading this blog you already knew that.  

     I think that the secret to the Beatles cultural status and longevity, is the quality of their songs.  If the songs were garbage, we'd have written them off a long time ago, but the truth is that they have a wealth of amazing songs that would make most bands many shades of green with jealousy.  They wrote love songs, hard rock songs, songs to sing along to, and sometimes songs that just made no darn sense.  Today, my friends, we will focus on the non-sense.  Whether due to drugs or apathy, the Beatles had some songs that just made no sense.  More specifically, John Lennon wrote a lot of songs that made no sense.  So here for your reading pleasure are five Beatles songs that you can try (in vain) to find meaning to.

5.  Glass Onion

Sample Lyric- "Here's another clue for you all...the Walrus was Paul"

     Glass Onion is a song that comes off the White Album, released in 1968.  By this point Beatlemania was in full force, despite the fact that they weren't even touring any more.  One amusing result of Beatle obsession   was the extreme over-analysis of their songs.  People looked for clues and hints to mysteries that really didn't exist.  Most amusingly of all, some people even thought that their were clues in album covers and songs that pointed out that Paul McCartney was in fact dead, and had been replaced by a double.

I mean, come on, even Batman was fooled for awhile.

     The Beatles, and especially our pal John Lennon, were a little tired of all of this speculation.  So, as he did in a few other occasions, John wrote a song just to confuse people.  Glass Onion makes reference to previous songs, Strawberry Fields Forever, I Am The Walrus, The Fool On The Hill, Lady Madonna, and Fixing A Hole.  By resurrecting old snippets of lyrics, he wrote a song that seemingly expanded on Beatles lore but really was just nonsense.  My favorite example is when he references the famous Beatles Walrus, and then gives us "another clue" by saying "the walrus was Paul."  GASP!?  What could this mean?  What is John trying to tell us?  IS PAUL TRULY DEAD?  In reality, he just wanted to say something nice about Paul since the media was reporting that they weren't getting along.  So he made him the Walrus, which let's face it, is a huge honor for everyone.  So don't expect any cryptic clues or hidden symbolism in this one.  If you do, John Lennon wins.

4.  Because

Sample Lyric- "Because the wind is high, it blows my mind"

     Because come from the last album, Abbey Road, and it is a doozy.  As the story goes, John and his ever hate-able girlfriend Yoko Ono were sitting around, presumably being weird, when Yoko started playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on a piano.  Suddenly, John asked her to play the chords backwards.  Whether he did this because he was a musical genius or just really drugged out is inconsequential. 

"I'd love it if you played all music backwards from now on.  It'll really confuse Paul."

     He ended up liking the way it sounded, so he made a few tweeks and changes, wrote some really obscure lyrics, and called in Paul and George to do a pretty awesome three part harmony to it.  What results is a beautifully hypnotic song that makes very little sense.  It works out perfectly though because you find yourself so caught up in the music that you couldn't care less what they're singing about.

3.  Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Sample Lyric- "a soap impression of his wife that he ate and donated to the national trust."

     This wasn't originally on my list (believe it or not I do sometimes plan out what I write beforehand), but after hearing it the other day I decided it had to be including because the lyrics are like being attacked by the Queen of England with a sledgehammer, it just doesn't make any sense.

     Apparently this one originated when the Beatles' producer, the legendary George Martin, showed John (who else?) the cover of a gun magazine.  As you probably guessed, the cover said that happiness is a warm gun.  John, didn't really agree with that...

"Hold on just one second...happiness is a what?"

     So in typical John Lennon fashion, he took that catchy phrase and turned it into one trip of a song.  The reason I almost didn't include it was because it could be argued that the song is just about drugs.  And with lyrics like "I need a fix cause I'm going down" repeated over and over, I would have a hard time arguing against that.  But the key changes, vocal range, and lyrical inconsistency just scream random in this one.  It has kind of a sad achy feeling, and then explodes in an awful happy way in the end, but really it's an emotional journey that makes little sense.  Like life right?  This is truly a classic that many haven't heard.  Look it up immediately.

2.  I Am the Walrus

Sample Lyric- "Elementary Penguin, singin' hare krishna, man you should have seen them kickin' Edgar Allen Poe"

      In my  mind, this is the grand-daddy of them all.  Not only a complete meaningless crazyfest, but also flat-out one of the top-five Beatles songs ever recorded.

     This song came before Glass Onion, but arose due to similar circumstances.  Apparently John learned that a teacher at the school he used to attend was having her students analyze Beatle lyrics.  He didn't like that much, so he took three ideas for songs that he was working on, combined them and I Am the Walrus was born.  The lyrics borrow from old British nursery rhymes, a poem by Lewis Carroll (The Walrus and the Carpenter) and a couple of acid trips that John had.  It's reported that after they recorded it, John said "Let the buggers work that one out." (Okay to be honest he didn't say buggers.)

     As evidence that this song has no meaning, I submit the fact that John didn't even know what the poem he borrowed from Lewis Carroll meant.  He thought the Walrus was the good guy, when in reality it's the Carpenter (don't ask me I've never read it).  In a later interview he talked about when this finally dawned on him.  He said "I thought, Oh, (crap), I picked the wrong guy. I should have said, 'I am the carpenter.' But that wouldn't have been the same, would it?"

     I love this song.  It is delightfully weird, and just flat out rocks.  To amplify the weirdness, I suggest you youtube it and watch the video as well.  

I really don't think I need to say anything funny about this picture.  It speaks for itself.

1.  Revolution 9

Sample Lyric...sort of: "Number 9...Number 9...Number 9...Number 9...Number 9...Number 9..."

     Folks, there is only one Beatles song that I will regularly skip on the chance that it comes on my iPod.  And that is this one.  Revolution 9 (not to be confused with the excellent Revolution and Revolution 1) is over eight minutes of noise.  Yes, it falls into the dreaded genre of experimental music.

     This one can be partially blamed on Yoko Ono, who kind of guided John into many weird things.  After making an experimental solo album with Yoko, John decided to put one on a Beatles album too.  As far as I can tell, it has a lot of loud noises, talking yelling, maybe a car crash, and John saying "Number 9" over and over again.  I really don't have much to say about this one.  Listen to it yourself, and see if you can endure all 8:13 of it.  

And while you do, stare at this the whole time without blinking.

     Well everyone, that just about wraps it up.  If you made it this far, I congratulate you.  I love the Beatles, and can get long-winded when I write about them.  Think I missed any?  Think I'm wrong?  Post in the comments below, and let the discussion begin!