Greeting from a couch. Sheldon here! Long time reader, first time blogger. I was delegated the impossible task of listing and explaining (See picture to complete the sentence)
I notice this the most at WalMart. Mostly because that's the only place besides my room and the theater that I spend time. Ever notice that above the doors, they have "ENTER" and "EXIT" signs? You haven't? Well I guess you're a part of the 98% of the population that ignore it. Why does it irritate me so? I've asked myself this question a lot. It's not like it's a law that you have to abide by or something you'll get hated for if you don't follow, but for some reason, it really rustles my jimmies.
Zachary just reminded me of this one. When you're chewing gum or food, please keep it in your gosh durn'd mouth! I don't want to see it! I don't want to hear it! I don't care if I can hear your chips or cereal; as long as your mouth is closed! Another situation is this: You're in some kind of big conference or meeting and the speaker starts to give his speech. Everything is fine and dandy until you notice that he does something rather strange with his mouth. It happens once, "that's okay, I'll forgive it. It was probably just a nervous habit that he will get over soon." ...It continues. This person is supposed to speak for an hour at the least! It's the only thing you can focus on. Your back tenses up. You feel a sudden blast of heat to your head. You're going to explode! But you can't. That would be messy and very disrespectful. It's times like those that I catch a glimpse of the pain that Jesus must have felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. Saying that might be a little bit of an over exaggeration, but in the moment, it sure doesn't feel like one!
Gear Grinder Numero Uno (Number one)
Have you ever been so into a dream that it feels like real life? Have you ever been sleeping so deep that you feel like you're... Sleeping really deeply? Yeah, me too. It's my favorite past time. I value every minute of sleep and I love every second as if it were my own little 'second' child. I love almost everyone, but if I'm woken up, I'll burn your house down. No questions asked. So many times, my friends have thought it would be funny to barge into my room whilst I'm enjoying a nice, well deserved, nappy-poo. Their funerals were nice and all, but I wish they hadn't given me a reason to murder them. Nothing should come in between me and my bed... Unless it's a 2" memory foam pad.... That can come between me an my bed without any complaints on my end. I'd assume that waking me up is about the equivalent of stealing a cub away from a mommy bear. Why does it bug me so darn much? Probably because I look a little like this when I wake up:
That's just a part of me that I don't want to publicize. Another thing: My breath smells like the inside of a meat cooler that got :unplugged and forgotten about for a week in the heat of an Arizona summer. I've never actually smelled that, but one time when I worked at Quizno's, there was this Chinese restaurant whose owners went back to China for a bit and closed down. I guess something went wong in their establishment, because for some reason their freezer broke down. After about a week the smell of the rotting flesh and veggies became so unbearable that we had to call the authorities.
#2: THAT'S NOT AN EXIT!!
I notice this the most at WalMart. Mostly because that's the only place besides my room and the theater that I spend time. Ever notice that above the doors, they have "ENTER" and "EXIT" signs? You haven't? Well I guess you're a part of the 98% of the population that ignore it. Why does it irritate me so? I've asked myself this question a lot. It's not like it's a law that you have to abide by or something you'll get hated for if you don't follow, but for some reason, it really rustles my jimmies.
Third: Not Educated? Don't Open Your Mouth.
I don't mean that if you didn't go to school or have a college degree that you shouldn't speak (although sometimes that might be nice). Have you ever been in a really intense debate with another person, whether it be about politics or about a video game, and the other person clearly has no idea what he or she is talking about? It's obvious that they have no clue what they're talking about, but they still insist on putting in their 10 cents in. That personally drives me crazy. I recently saw a video that fits this topic very well: (Racy language in this one)
Last: Teenagers
Granted, I was once a teenager. I hated them when I was one and I hate them even more now. There are a few that I can stand. A very few. I would tell you all of the cliques of high school that I hate, but I think this clip does it more splendidly: [Video Below] (There are swears in this) They just have cocky attitudes and think they know everything about everything ever! I may have been one of those that knew everything... But that's because I DO! In any case, I still don't like them. Blarglesplech!!
The Last Last One: Mouth Noises
Zachary just reminded me of this one. When you're chewing gum or food, please keep it in your gosh durn'd mouth! I don't want to see it! I don't want to hear it! I don't care if I can hear your chips or cereal; as long as your mouth is closed! Another situation is this: You're in some kind of big conference or meeting and the speaker starts to give his speech. Everything is fine and dandy until you notice that he does something rather strange with his mouth. It happens once, "that's okay, I'll forgive it. It was probably just a nervous habit that he will get over soon." ...It continues. This person is supposed to speak for an hour at the least! It's the only thing you can focus on. Your back tenses up. You feel a sudden blast of heat to your head. You're going to explode! But you can't. That would be messy and very disrespectful. It's times like those that I catch a glimpse of the pain that Jesus must have felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. Saying that might be a little bit of an over exaggeration, but in the moment, it sure doesn't feel like one!
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