Signs of the Apocalypse: Fast Internet in Provo and a Temple on IGN

     Friends, Romans, and countrymen, it's time to hop in the bomb shelters and get your last minute food storage.  Two interrelated things happened today that have given me ample cause to conclude that that big silly Doomsday clock will need to be moved one minute closer to midnight.

"Yes, I am afraid that we at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists have no choice but to conclude that we are all going to die."

     First of all, the horribly slow internet that we here in Provo are forced to endure on a minutely basis could soon be coming to an end.  Google has announced that they are bringing their mystical, mind-numbingly fast Google Fiber to the Provo area.  Now I don't know a lot about computers or the internet, Google keeps on throwing around terms like gigabit, and that just sounds fast to me.  Let me just say that this turn of events is crazy.  First of all, it seems pretty random that little Provo, UT would be the third city in the entire universe to get this.  I know we have a lot of entrepreneurs in the area, but didn't ever think that we'd be so high on the list.  Second of all, this is a miracle because I had grown used to the idea that having slow as molasses, really inconsistent internet was just a part of the BYU experience.  Could this really be changing soon?  Could I really soon be blogging at the speed of one gigabit per second, whatever that means?  It appears the answer is yes.

     The second and more incredible sign of the end of the world is how esteemed video game journalists IGN.com chose to cover the news.  As I read the article on my phone, I was pretty surprised to see this image pop up front and center.

A Mormon temple in an IGN article?  This had to have been prophesied somewhere...

     This may not seem to be a big deal, but it is to me.  Although I love IGN for their quick delivery of tech news, it's not really somewhere I would go for religious commentary, let alone a picture of one of God's holy temples.  So that was a nice surprise, but unfortunately means that the end is most likely nigh.

We should have believed you, random street corner guy.

President Obama Cancelled My Beatles Class

     This my friends, is a sad time.  If you've stumbled upon this while looking for a political rant, keep looking.  This is meant to be a eulogy to the greatest class to ever exist at BYU or any institution of higher (or lower) learning in the entire world.   This is to lament the fact that Brother Lawrence Green will no longer be teaching Music 118R, which in the Winter semester is a curriculum of Beatles songs.  Someone else will take the class, but a pure Beatles class is likely to no longer exist.  As I am quite a fan of the Beatles, this news was a little devastating.  I was planning on taking this repeatable class every Winter semester for the rest of my BYU life.  But alas, my dream is crushed.  What was once a beautiful, unbelievable reality has returned to what it once was; a fantasy.

Not even Paul can let it be this time.

     To make a long story short, the Affordable Health Care Act is causing BYU to have to be stricter about part time employees and hours, and Bro. Green's hours are now severely limited.  Therefore I am able to draw the conclusion that it was President Barrack Obama himself who cancelled my favorite BYU class.

     Throughout my life I've been either praised as a talented writer or mocked for my prose and use of bigger than average words.  But alas; my words now fail me.  In order to express the sorrow of my heart during this time, I turn to the internet's most powerful tool; those funny movie picture things.  

Shock

Rage

Resignation

Depression

     RIP Beatles class, and good luck Brother Green.  You'll both be sorely missed.